


Saltwater and Sunlight

by Rhang



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal Sex, Bottom Sam, Caring for a loved one, Coming home after a long journey, Established Relationship, M/M, Multiple references to the ocean and traveling, Reunion Sex, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Themes of longing and desire and spending time with the one you love, They live in a seafaring town
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-16 06:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhang/pseuds/Rhang
Summary: Sam looked out on the ocean in the distance knowing Steve was out there somewhere on his way back. He started down the hill side slowly pacing himself despite the excitement he felt in his bones at knowing he would see Steve again in just a few hours.





	1. Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> _Some people_ (you know who you are) accused me of being a fake Samsteve stan. So I went ahead and wrote my OTP a little something-something if you will. I’m hella particular about my Samsteve dynamics so it took a minute to get this little AU for them together, lol, but here it is. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Any and all mistakes are mine.

_3,650 hours. You hold your breath; you wait for the clock to rundown. The time passes and for the first time in 5 months you take a deep breath. You breathe. You breathe and live those 730 hours to their fullest before those precious increments run out, before that month is gone. Then the cycle begins again. An existence of longing but love knows not of time._

 

Early morning breezes rolled in off the sea as Sam set out to make the docks by sunrise. He locked up the house behind him and looked out on the ocean in the distance and knew Steve was out there somewhere on his way back. Sam started down the hill side slowly pacing himself despite the excitement he felt in his bones at knowing he would see Steve again in just a few hours.

In their town by the sea, a small community of people, a majority of which were sailors and fishers. The ships were the main source of occupation and supplier of their town’s economy. The many ships of the community set out on alternating schedules, always leaving in waves to keep each other company while out on the water. But when the ships came back, twice a year, everyone would flock to the docks to welcome their sailors and fishers home. Today was that day.

After the return celebration a hush would fall on their seafaring town for a few days as families reconnected and lovers reunited after 5 months apart. The one month breaks, which occurred twice a year, were their local holidays before the next group of sailors and fishers were due to sail out taking the place of the returned ones.

Being home after 5 months at sea was always an adjustment. One got used to being out there and on the water. Eventually the ocean became part of you but returning home to loved ones always made the transition bearable. Days like today made them bearable because their proximity signaled warmth, happiness and company on the horizon and soon your time to return back out to the ocean if you were a sailor or fisher like Sam.

Sam looked out and saw the sun begin to light the very edge of the horizon, lifting the darkness of the night to signal a new day, a return. Sam neared the bottom of the hill side and saw his neighbor Eryn emerging from his home. As Sam was passing his gate, Eryn was stepping out on the road and said a gentle good morning to Sam. Eryn was a soft spoken, tall, brown skinned man with dark eyes. His family had lived on the island for centuries; Eryn and his wife were Sam and Steve’s closest neighbors. They were the only two with homes this far west on the island along the coast. Everyone else lived closer to town and near the docks. Since Eryn’s wife, Amelia, was Steve’s captain, Sam and Eryn usually saw each other on this day and often in town since they were land side at the same time of year.

“Morning Eryn,” Sam said giving the man a smile.   

“Today’s the day,” Eryn said looking out on the sea. They both knew it was too early for the ships to be in-bound just yet but on return days everyone’s eyes would be drawn to the horizon in anticipation until the first glimpse could be seen and called out for the town to hear.

The two men walked quietly talking about their crops and things that needed doing around the house. The walk to town was about half an hour but ten minutes into their journey they heard the call ring out. They quickly looked to the horizon and sure enough five ships could be seen sailing in from the open ocean.

Sam felt his heart swell and couldn’t wait.

“By the time we get there, the ships should be docked and they should be disembarking,” Sam said happily.

“I can’t wait to see her,” Eryn said elated.

“I can’t wait to hold him,” Sam said thinking of Steve, wanting to embrace his love again. 

“And we will do just that,” Eryn said laughing a bit.

Without consciously knowing it, they’d stepped up their pace and arrived at the docks just as the ships were being tied up and secured. They would have to wait for their loved ones since Amelia and Steve were the Captain and First Officer respectively. Those individuals always got off after the rest of the crew. As a First Officer on his ship, Sam knew the drill. They stood patiently and watched the commotion and happiness of the crowd as the gangways came down connecting the ships to the docks and the first crew members disembarked.

Eryn bounced with quiet excitement and tried to see over the crowd before he wished Sam well and braved the crowd on their particular dock and made his way to the gangway to greet his wife.

Sam considered what to do while he waited and decided to buy Steve a beer. He hadn’t brought any of the pastries he’d made for dinner later on with Steve so Sam bought a beer to give Steve his first drink back on land. It was an island tradition that loved ones would give food and drink to their returned ones as a sign of devotion, loyalty and love.

After their first 5 months apart Steve brought Sam an entire picnic and they ate out on the sand of the shore together. But that was years ago and their enthusiasm for the tradition had died down since then. Things were more understated between them after so many years together. So a sweet cake here, a beer there. They always brought something but nothing too elaborate. They found they preferred to be comfortable in their home for their reunion celebration. So Sam knew Steve wouldn’t mind a simple beer with Sam’s greeting.

* * *

Staring out on the waves in the distance, cool breeze whipping over his face, Steve took a deep breath and tried to contain his emotions. He watched the sun rise and kept an eye out for the first sight of land. It was time to return home, he thought, return to his love. He loved the ocean and being out there but hell if coming home to Sam wasn’t just as satisfying.

His captain walked up and leaned against the railing beside him. Steve looked over at Amelia, with her long black dreads, dark brown skin and tired eyes. The two of them had grown up on ships like these, both of them had started as kitchen hands as kids and now they stood together as Captain and First Officer of a ship. They’d come a long way in just over twenty-five years.

“That celebration will be glorious,” Amelia whispered her words drowned out by the waves.

“Yeah but it’s not like I’m going to that,” Steve said thinking of the large party the town would throw for the returning sailors within the town. He was never partial to the social gathering. The moment he got back on land and saw Sam, he just wanted to go home and spend every waking hour with Sam in his arms.

“I used to chide you about not going, but then Eryn and I skipped it one time and never looked back,” she admitted. “So you have a solid point there.”

Steve smiled and Amelia laughed. They looked over to their left and saw a neighboring ship following close behind them at a distance. Steve looked back to the direction of their heading and still didn’t see land.

“This part is the hardest, almost being there. Just waiting for the dock to come into view,” Steve said looking to the north knowing Sam was somewhere in that direction waiting for him.

 

With the docks in sight, Steve signaled for the crew to begin bringing the sails down and slowing their approach as they neared the docks. When they sailed in smoothly with the rest of ships, they cast their anchors down and tossed their ropes to the dock to get tied up. Amelia and Steve did final checks throughout and made sure their haul for the season was being weighed and processed as the crew started disembarking the ship.

Steve watched Amelia look around and shook his head. He touched her shoulder and motioned for her to step off first.

“Let’s get you back to Eryn,” he said smiling.

“Yeah, right after I get you back to Sam,” she said pushing Steve off first as she disembarked right after him. They walked the gangway carefully down to the dock and saw the crowd of crew and loved ones still there. Steve searched the crowd looking for Sam but didn’t see him. Steve and Amelia walked together back to the shore smiling without discussing how strange it felt to be back on land.

Amelia stopped in her tracks and looked to Steve. “Tell Sam hi for me,” she said softly before she hugged Steve tight. “I’ll see you later okay.”

“I will. Now go,” Steve urged her knowing she’d spotted Eryn in the distance. She shouldered her bag a bit tighter before making the run to her husband. Steve kept walking and eventually saw her leap into Eryn’s arms and embrace him. Eryn picked her up and swung her around. Steve was happy for them.

Steve continued to look around but still hadn’t spotted Sam just yet. He saw laughter, people joking and kisses exchanged as he drew closer to the shore. That’s when he saw him. Sam was leaning against the left railing of the dock, looking out on the sea in a simple tee and shorts, looking as handsome as ever, brown skin glowing in the light of the morning sun. Steve walked over shaking his head; he was still utterly in love with the man after all this time.

Just seeing him again is all it takes, Steve thought to himself. 

Sam glanced back toward the ship hoping the mass of people had thinned out only to see Steve approaching him from the crowd. Sam felt his heart tremble seeing him again. He rushed to Steve with the beer he had bought and embraced the other tightly. Sam kissed his way into Steve’s mouth and felt Steve kiss him back. His happiness could not be expressed in that moment so Sam shed a tear as he held Steve tight, so happy he’d returned to him. 

Steve hugged Sam tight feeling the urge to cry at holding him again but weighed that against noticing how much smaller Sam felt in his arms. Sam’s frame had lost some mass and felt different against his own body. Then Steve remembered that Sam did tend to feel different in his arms when Steve came back versus how Sam feels when Sam comes home from the sea.

Sam let go of Steve and admired the man before him. Long hair and beard, Steve was almost unrecognizable. But those eyes, those blue eyes Sam would know anywhere. Sam showed Steve the beer he had for him and opened it before handing it over to Steve. Steve looked into Sam’s eyes and took a deep drink, his first drink on land and smiled.

“You spoil me,” Steve said deeply.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam said taking Steve’s arm to head on home. Sam had retrieved the one he’d come for, now he was ready for their quality time alone together.

Walking back through their small town, Steve noticed the changes made and things that stayed relatively the same. “Want to buy some things for dinner?” Steve asked looking toward the grocery store.

Sam rubbed his hand against Steve’s arm and leaned against him a bit. “It’s all taken care of and waiting at home,” Sam whispered looking over at Steve.

Steve stared into Sam’s eyes thinking about their home; about being in their space again with him, sharing their bed and meals again. “Yeah, let’s head on home,” Steve said softly taking Sam’s hand as they headed out west and back up to their lone home on the hill.

 

* * *

Sam watched Steve walk past him into their home and remembered how different the space felt without Steve there. How their little home would come alive with laughter and life while they shared it together twice a year. How the laughter and love they generated during those two months would bottle up within those four walls and keep the space warm for a while after one of their departures. Sam refused to think about what happens when the warmth dissipated and the memories turned to longing. Steve was home now, they were back together, this was their day one and that was all that mattered.

Sam shut the door behind him and went to the kitchen to start cooking the food he prepped before leaving and warm some of the dishes he started the night before. Sam uncovered the pastries he made and handed one to Steve with a smile.

“Go shower and get comfortable. All of this should be ready when you get out,” Sam said smirking.

Steve took a bite of the pastry Sam handed him and savored it. He loved Sam’s desserts more than anything. While Sam wasn’t looking Steve grabbed another before heading back to their room to get cleaned up.

Steam rose, saturating the air with moisture as Steve washed the saltwater and ocean breeze from his body; readily accepting the scents of land and home. Showering at home was always better, Steve thought. With actual hot water their shower at home had much more space than the showers on the ship. Steve took his time in the mirror, snipping and cutting his hair back, trimming his beard down to a manageable scruff. He decided against cutting it all off to avoid having to itch and feel it grow back a week later. He had other things he wanted to focus on during this month while he had Sam with him.

Steve grabbed his clothes and headed back into their bedroom, smelling the delicious food Sam was working away on in the kitchen down the hall. He grabbed his bag and started unpacking his things. He tossed heap after heap in the hamper and took a moment to let it hit him that he was really back. That he was standing in his bedroom at home and this wasn’t one of the many dreams he’d had over the years about being back in this very room. Steve glanced out the open door of their room and noticed the stillness of the atmosphere since they’d arrived home, the tension between them. The mood as tight as a bow string ready to snap and yet they were both restraining themselves, waiting for what exactly Steve wasn’t really sure.

Steve cleared his bag of clothes and found his stack of letters and sighed. He grabbed Sam’s letters to him and moved to put them away with the rest of his collection in his spot in the closet while he left the new set for Sam in his bag. He hung the bag up in the closet and shut the door. Steve moved to lay down on their bed and turned his face into the pillows and bedding. Feeling his insides twist with an unknown feeling as his mind and body remembered the scents that were deeply settled in their bed. The main one being Sam’s, his smell was all over their bed. The realization made his heart ache in a tender way, a scent he knew he missed and yet could not recreate because it was so distinct and specific.

Sam headed down the hall to their room and found Steve face down on the bed. Part of him was worried that Steve had collapsed and fallen asleep right where he fell until he heard Steve sigh.

“Would you like to sleep a little first?” Sam asked from where he stood at their bedroom door.

Steve sat up and looked at Sam. Steve looked his love up and down hungrily, “That’s not what I had in mind exactly.”

Sam looked at Steve and noticed he’d washed and cut his hair and cut his beard back. He looked more like himself and Sam couldn’t deny he’d missed that face staring back at him. “I’m right there with you but come on let’s eat first. I’ve missed seeing you at the table with me,” Sam confessed motioning for Steve to follow him out to the front room.

Steve nodded and got up to follow Sam out to their kitchen table. The modest table was set with steak, fish, prawns and fresh vegetable dishes as well as the pastries Steve enjoyed. Steve licked his lips shook his head. Sam had really out done himself. Steve knew Sam had to have been up late into the night cooking and preparing this meal for him. Steve was thankful he’d saved his appetite.

Steve pulled out a chair and took a seat as Sam did the same, they sat and ate eat together while Steve told the memorable stories of his time out at sea. Sam watched Steve take bite after bite of his food; he never got tired of watching Steve enjoy his cooking, of savoring these moments with him. Sam wouldn’t tell Steve this because he’d only worry but Sam rarely ate the closer the return day got. He just didn’t seem to have an appetite while waiting for his love to return. Trying to eat while with Steve was an adjustment he really didn’t need that much food to feel full lately.

When Steve was good and full on food, he leaned back and sighed. He was full on wine and was ready to feed a different hunger he had. He watched Sam busy himself with clearing the table and felt his desire rise. Sam passed by him while wiping the table down when Steve reached out and stopped Sam just beside him.

“What’s up baby?” Sam asked looking down into Steve’s eyes. Sam felt his knees tremble a bit because Steve was rubbing his hand against the outside of his thigh. Steve continued to stare up into Sam’s eyes before he pulled the other down into his lap. Sam sat down barely containing his desire with Steve so close. They were alone and together again; Sam didn’t know where he wanted to start.

“If you don’t kiss me again, right now,” Steve was moving closer, “I may just combust Sam,” Steve whispered against Sam’s lips.

Sam ran his fingers into Steve’s hair and kissed Steve the way he wanted to out on the dock, deep and passionate, laced with the full force of his longing. Sam had pulled back earlier, reserved his desire for this moment, for the privacy of their home. Sam poured himself into his kiss and Steve was more than willing to accept all of him. Steve pulled Sam closer; gripped Sam’s waist in his grasps as he stroked his tongue against Sam’s and felt his lust burn brighter for his lover.

Sam moaned missing that touch, Steve’s strength holding him close, commanding his body with his touch, showing Sam how much Steve wanted him, needed him.

Steve stood up suddenly, the chair he was seated in loudly scrubbed against the hardwood floors of their home as he supported Sam and encouraged him to wrap his legs around his waist as Steve carried him to their bedroom.

Steve entered their room and took Sam right to bed. He laid Sam down as he kissed his lips and allowed himself to be swept up in the feelings between them.

As tender as Steve wanted to be reuniting with Sam after all this time, he couldn’t manage his ragged hunger for his lover. With each piece of clothing Steve stripped from Sam; uncovering him, Steve wanted to kiss, worship, relearn every curve and soft spot on Sam he fell in love with. He wanted to make love to Sam in every way he knew the man deserved and in a few ways Steve just couldn’t resist. Steve placed kisses along Sam’s thighs and knees, trying to avoid Sam’s arms trying to pull him down on top of him. Steve stared into Sam’s eyes as he heard the other groan in frustration.

“Something the matter?” Steve asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, a few things,” Sam breathed sitting up to kiss Steve on the lips, enticing the other to let Sam lead them, to guide. Sam laid down and brought Steve with him as they kissed. Sam undid Steve’s shorts, his shirt having been tossed early on. Steve kissed at Sam’s neck and Sam moaned as Steve sucked at his neck pleasurably.

No words were uttered about how long they’d waited for this, how much they had missed the other. It all went without saying. They knew. Unspoken, their longing was in every touch, every kiss, every moan, every look they gave each other as they reconnected there in their bedroom. It lay in Sam’s grasps at Steve’s arm as he opened Sam up. In Steve’s caring touch making sure Sam was ready. In every rough thrust Steve gave Sam once they were connected again as well as in Sam’s deep and satisfied pleas for more.

Steve gripped Sam’s hips a bit tighter, pushing aside thoughts of how visible his love’s hip bones were.

“Steven,” Sam breathed touching Steve’s chest. Steve looked into Sam’s heavy lidded eyes and knew Sam was close. He leaned down to kiss him through it and was utterly pleased to hear Sam cry out and grasp a hold of him.

As his orgasm washed through him Sam felt himself flying high. It wasn’t his first orgasm in 5 months but it had been the most satisfying. Sam ran his hands up Steve’s arms and chest as Steve hadn’t come yet but was giving Sam a chance enjoy his release before seeking his own. Sam was relaxed but encouraged Steve to continue with a tight hold on his hips and gentle rock of his own. Steve continued thrusting, not as roughly as he’d done before but steadily. Sam could tell Steve was close, his entire body said so. When he did come, Steve hugged Sam tightly to him, filling him, gasping as he felt his release wash over him.

Steve took a moment before moving but got up placing more kisses against Sam’s cheek.

“I don’t want to stop,” Steve whispered into his skin. "Damn, Sam, there’s no getting enough of you."

“I would probably fight you if you let go of me now,” Sam whispered back looking over at Steve beside him.

Steve looked at him and a smile soon grew on his lips before Steve pulled out and shared lazy kisses with Sam until they could both go again.

 

They ended up napping briefly between their following rounds but ended up staying up during the night talking, whispering; being with one another. Laying naked with Sam, Steve was brushing his hand against Sam’s chest as Sam talked about what he did during his time off. Part of Steve didn’t want to bring it up but it kept nagging at him. He wanted to know if there was something Sam wasn’t telling him.

“Sam, are you feeling okay? Is everything okay?” Steve asked, wondering if his entire world was about to change with Sam’s answer.

Sam looked over at Steve beside him confused. “Why?” he asked wondering where that question came from.

Steve looked into Sam’s eyes and brushed his thumb against the hint of hip bones jutting through Sam’s skin as he lay on his back.

Sam sighed. He was foolish to think he could avoid this topic with Steve for long, if at all.

“I haven’t been hungry lately that’s all,” Sam admitted softly.

“What’s ‘lately’?” Steve asked for clarity.

“The past month I guess,” Sam estimated not really sure when his appetite had fled, maybe along with his want to do most things in general.

Steve felt worry well up on the inside. “We need to get you to a doctor first thing tomorrow,” Steve said sternly. He wanted Sam to get checked out as soon as possible.

Sam laughed softly under his breath at Steve’s concern before moving to peck kisses on Steve’s lips. He missed this side of Steve, always so concerned and fussy about him. “Don’t worry about me love, I’m fine,” Sam assured him.

“I don’t know if you should go if you’re not feeling well,” Steve pressed referring to Sam sailing out at the end of the month.

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’m not sick Steve,” Sam pressed. “I’m not.”

“Sam, it’s evident something is going on,” Steve said as he ran his fingers against Sam’s visible ribs.

“I’m lovesick if anything,” Sam breathed moving Steve’s hand from his side. “Missing you, being without you. You know how active life on the ship is it’s not the same here on the mainland. I haven’t felt like swimming in a while either so with not eating or doing much, yeah, I’ve lost some mass. But I’m gonna be just fine. I promise.”

Steve sat up and hovered over Sam for a moment. He touched his nose to Sam’s. “While that may be true, I’m still taking you to a doctor before you sail out. This isn’t up for discussion.”

Sam chuckled to himself and shook his head. “If you insist,” Sam conceded.

Steve kissed Sam’s lips then rested his head on Sam’s shoulder. “In fact I do,” Steve said chuckling.

Sam brushed his fingers against Steve’s back and sighed. “I’m so happy you're back,” Sam whispered. “So happy.”


	2. Sunset

Sam went to the doctor a few days later just to be told to eat better and more often as well as get out and get active. Steve took the doctor at their word and made sure Sam ate three square meals a day and got Sam out of the house for a couple of hours every day. The first few days of eating regularly again were almost unbearable to Sam because Steve was insistent even with snacks but as the days moved on it got easier. Steve also made sure Sam was out and about enough to build up an appetite.

They walked the island, did grocery runs, visited friends all over, enjoying the company and seeing people they hadn’t seen in a long time due to working. But Sam’s favorite activity was going swimming with Steve. That first day back in the water after 4 months of just not going for a swim was so soothing Sam couldn’t figure out why he gave it up for a time. Sam had stripped down to his trunks and walked out into the calm surf and dove under the cool waves. His body remembering its conditioning, allowing Sam to hold his breath and glide through the clear water down near the floor. He felt his internal warning that he needed to go back up and listened to it without pushing himself. He surfaced and took a deep breath.

“Everything alright?” Steve called out to him still standing up in the water as it came to his chest.

“Yeah,” Sam replied swimming back over to Steve. He glided around Steve before standing before him. “I’m out of practice. Can’t hold my breath as long.”

“You’ve got time,” Steve said not feeling worried. If he had confidence for Sam in anything it was his ability to handle himself in the water. “Still have 2 weeks before you sail out.”

So Sam applied himself, gave himself enough time each day in the water to readjust and up his time holding his breath, working on his free diving and strengthening his muscles. In no time Steve watched Sam regain his majestic ability in the water. He watched Sam fluidly dive and glide to the ocean floor holding his breath for longer and longer when he went down.

Steve smirked to himself as he remembered the first time he’d noticed Sam back in their early teens. He remembered watching the divers on the ship he worked on dive into the water between his cleaning duties and saw there was always one diver that stayed down longer than anyone else. Everyone would be amazed and in awe of the young boy’s talents. Steve watched Sam go into the water with everyone else but was blown away when the young boy came back up a full five minutes after everyone else. Sam broke the surface of the water to breathe and handed off his catch. It was a childish thought but in that moment Steve was convinced Sam was one of the merfolk. The handsome son of a mermaid destined to live on land but retained all of his people’s talents for navigating the water.

Sam swam up behind Steve suddenly and tapped his shoulder before swimming off so Steve couldn’t catch him. Steve looked around and laughed watching the water to see where Sam would surface next. Sam surfaced and splashed Steve before taking off again. Steve swam after Sam and eventually nabbed a hold of Sam’s ankle. Sam stopped swimming and turned to see Steve there. They surfaced together and Steve smiled. He kissed Sam softly.

“My merman has still got it,” Steve whispered feeling Sam come closer and rub his leg against his own.

Sam smirked and looked into Steve’s eyes feeling his stomach still flip at Steve’s nickname for him. Sam remembered how they met on their first season out on the water on the same ship. While Steve had always been interested in men, Sam on the other hand tended to pursue whoever caught his eye and Steve did just that. If Sam were to tell it now, he’d mentioned how difficult it was to ignore those blue eyes watching him on the deck all the time. Steve kept his distance for a few weeks before he did approach Sam. It was after Sam had had a few failed dives and an overall off day. He was trying to catch his breath, frustrated with himself mostly when Steve walked over and sat beside him. He didn’t even mention the rough day Sam was having he just started talking about how wonderful it was to watch Sam swim and track fish every day. Steve mentioned he wasn’t the best swimmer. That as much as he loved the water it didn’t love him back, no, not how the ocean seemed to move and part for Sam effortlessly. Sam glanced over at Steve, the young blonde with a pretty smile, and shook his head explaining it was just practice. Steve replied, ‘ _Of course a merman would say something like that_.’ That made Sam giggle and Steve decided then he wanted to hear that laughter more and more.

Soon enough late night talks on the ship deck turned into stolen kisses in cramped quarters between shifts. Stealing away together in dark corners and tight quarters exchanging touches and making promises. In time they were found out by their captain and were told to end it or risk losing their jobs entirely. They ended up leaving for different positions on other ships having chosen one another. But found they did need a break from sea life once in a while. With one always away, they decided to share their holidays before switching places and soon they bought a home to make their own. By then they had both made First Officer and just one of their incomes were more than enough to sustain them but neither one felt ready to stop sailing despite being without the other.

Sam felt his mood fall a bit at the realization he was going to be leaving with the dawn the next day. That he wouldn’t be able to continue to wake up with Steve every morning, share meals with him, go swimming with him in the evenings. Steve could read Sam like a book; he knew exactly what was on in the other’s mind and moved to kiss him deeply. Sam tasted a little like the fish they had for lunch, strongly of saltwater and like himself, which Steve was convinced was actually the taste of sunlight.

“Stop thinking about it. You’re still here with me,” Steve whispered feeling his hands down against Sam’s ass to pull him close before Steve started kissing at Sam’s neck. “You’re still right here.”

Sam agreed and wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders and kissed against Steve’s forehead as Steve rocked his hips against Sam’s. He was thankful Steve loved him so; loved him so much he wouldn’t allow Sam to waste a moment thinking of their separation. Steve had done that often for Sam during their recent holiday, brought him back to the present they were sharing, reminded Sam to savor the time and not give it to a moment in the future that would see them apart regardless.

* * *

That evening dinner was somber to say the least. Steve prepared the meal for them and tried his best to get Sam laughing and smiling. While it worked, Sam’s departure in the morning just loomed too heavily over them to ignore. Sam finished as much as he could and decided to head to their room to pack his bag. Steve cleared the table and washed the dishes. He listened intently for the small sounds and thuds Sam was making moving around their room because without them, the front room of their small home felt too lonely. Steve hurried his tasks and went back to their room to be near Sam.

Sam was folding his things by soft candlelight in their room when he saw Steve walk in. He glanced at him and continued quietly with what he was doing. A few moments after Sam felt a soft kiss on his shoulder and smiled. Steve touched Sam’s hip as he placed something on the bed before him. Sam looked down to see a neat stack of letters for his journey, Steve’s responses to his own. They always exchanged letters before leaving, not to be opened until they were out on the sea and missing the other. They would respond to each letter given with one of their own to hand off to the other when they were preparing to set sail again. 

Sam wanted to ask what Steve thought of a certain letter but knew Steve wouldn’t tell him. Sam figured he would just have to wait and read Steve’s corresponding letter to find out. The letters were their way of never being apart, conversations they could look forward to and words they could reread to feel closer to the other until they came home.

Sam finished packing and set his bag aside by the dresser. “I’m gonna shower and get to bed early,” Sam said looking at Steve.

“Oh, okay. I’ll leave you to it,” Steve said wondering if Sam maybe wanted some time alone to gather his thoughts. Instead Sam took Steve’s hand and led him to the bathroom.

Standing under the shower’s spray, Steve held Sam against him after they washed up and just held his love close. The hours winding down on them and Steve had to admit this was another hard part, trying to live in the moment knowing what’s coming when the sun rises again.

When they retired to bed Sam laid down on his side and Steve cuddled up close behind him. They lay there not talking just sharing silence as the last of the sunlight outside faded entirely leaving their room saturated in darkness. Darkness that couldn’t be fully abated by the candles still lit across the room.

Steve pulled Sam close in bed, feeling the other’s cool skin against his own. Sam looked over his shoulder at Steve in the dark, not touched by candlelight, to kiss Steve’s lips. Their kiss was slow, sweet and languid.

Steve moved to touch Sam beneath the covers and noticed some definition and mass had begun to return to his lover’s frame. Sam moved Steve’s hand to his erection and sighed when Steve brushed his fingers against him. Sam was almost half hard as Steve took him in hand to coax him to full hardness. Sam moaned as their lips parted and whimpered so softly it drove Steve wild.

Oh my fucking goodness, the things he does to me, Steve thought.

Sam moved to grab what Steve figured was probably the lube. When he moved back to rest back against Steve he passed him the bottle. Steve took the bottle but returned his hand to rub his thumb under the head of Sam’s erection.

Sam gasped and curled forward briefly before he stretched out and touched Steve’s thigh behind him. 

“I--baby, please. Please,” Sam begged as Steve felt his body tremble against him.

Steve let Sam go and sat up to coat his fingers and added a little extra to spread around Sam’s hole. He rubbed a fingertip over his entrance and Sam moved to lay on his stomach and raised his leg to make it easier on Steve. Steve easily slipped his finger inside of Sam. Stretching him took little to no time seeing as there were only a few evenings they didn’t make love in one form or another.

When Sam was comfortable and sufficiently stretched Steve coated his tip and brought Sam to rest back against him again. Sam reached back to touch Steve’s thigh and inhaled as Steve pressed in slowly.

“Steve,” he breathed aloud.

Steve slowed down and gave him time to adjust. Sam pushed himself back on Steve a bit and whimpered.

“Take your time love,” Steve whispered to Sam as he stayed still experiencing Sam wrapped around him so tight. It felt like he was dissolving the further he sank into him. Sam continued to push back slowly at his own pace and speared himself on Steve.

Steve gripped Sam’s hip tight when his ass was pressed flush against his hips having took all of him.

They both took some time, calming themselves down but also comprehending this was as close as they would be for five months until they saw each other again. Steve caressed his hand up Sam’s chest, placing kisses along his arm hoping Sam understood just how much he loved him.

“I love you Samuel,” Steve whispered to him through the dark.

Sam felt Steve’s words and sighed, touching Steve’s hand on his chest. “I love you too Steve, always,” Sam said aloud. “Goes without saying.”

When the initial hype died down as Steve stroked Sam’s thigh he pulled out a bit to thrust back in. Sam moaned deeply feeling the pleasure deep down.

Steve got up and shifted Sam onto his stomach so he lay above him. He placed kisses against Sam’s neck and back as he decided to take it slow that evening and draw it out for them. Sam’s back muscles contracted beautifully as Steve could feel him loosening up.

“That’s it, that’s my baby right there, opening up for me. Gonna let me make you feel good, huh baby?” Steve whispered in Sam’s ear.

“Yes, yes,” Sam moaned relaxing his body to let Steve do as he wished.

They made love slowly and carefully, taking each other apart piece by piece until it was just the connection, no words just touches, kisses and emotions in their rawest forms being passed back and forth.

Steve held Sam tight and against himself and felt his orgasm wash through him. It him took a moment to catch his breath then reached down to stroke Sam to completion as he stared down into his eyes. The sheets were soaked with pre-come as he took Sam in hand, skin slick with Sam’s arousal. Sam visibly trembled as if the touch was too much but Steve knew Sam hadn’t reached his release yet. He rubbed against his tip then gave Sam long firm strokes. Sam whined softly begging for release.

“You can come baby,” Steve breathed as he quickened his hand on him, enraptured by Sam’s beauty so close to orgasm.

Sam cried out and tried to hide his face in the pillows as he came, his release coated Steve’s hand, spurt after spurt. Steve leaned down to kiss at Sam’s cheek and jaw, tasting the sweat on his skin.

“Very good baby, very good,” Steve whispered as he pulled out to allow Sam to relax. Steve got up to get a rag to clean them up.

When he got Sam cleaned up and comfortable, Steve sat up in bed and pulled Sam close to hold him. He didn’t want to sleep. Not tonight. He sat up and watched Sam rest, touching his love and appreciating his warmth right beside him. Steve was awake when the candles burned down and dark outside began to recede. He looked over at Sam still resting and hated this day most of all.

 

* * *

Before dawn they got up and Sam showered and dressed to set sail. Steve sat on their bed waiting for him and felt his heart react oddly as Sam stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed his bag declaring he was ready to go. Steve only nodded and got up to follow Sam out of their bedroom and then out of their home. Steve had grabbed a few pastries and packed them for Sam to take but held onto them so Sam wouldn’t have to carry them all the way to the dock.

Hand in hand they walked through the dark to the dock taking their time. They passed Eryn and Amelia’s home and saw a light on within but no sign of either of them. Steve smiled at Sam and they kept on their way to the dock. When they arrived the sun was just cresting on the horizon, giving them some time to say a temporary goodbye.

Sam looked out on the water feeling a little excited to get back out there but very aware he’d have to let go of Steve’s hand to do so. He put his bag down and looked at Steve. He took note of how being with Steve made him feel. He stared into Steve’s eyes memorizing their shade of blue before Steve tipped Sam’s face up to kiss him deeply. 

“I love you,” Steve whispered against his lips. “I love you, my merman.”

Sam felt a break in his resolve despite trying his damnedest to not do this in front of Steve. Sam began to cry. Steve shook his head and looked away. He couldn’t watch Sam cry, not now, it would only make the next 5 months torture. Steve closed his eyes and placed kisses against Sam’s lips softly as he whispered for Sam to stop crying, reassuring him that it would be okay. Steve brushed the tears away and Sam took several a deep breathes before wiping his face as well.

“Stay safe my love,” Steve bid Sam before he handed Sam the pastries he’d carried for him and backed up from him.

They hadn’t noticed but the dock had filled up in the meantime while they were talking and the gangways had come down already.

Sam nodded at Steve and sighed before picking up his bag and he turned to head for his ship through the crowd. Steve watched Sam greet his captain and watched Sam board his ship. Steve stood on the dock with others and felt his heart smile when he saw Sam on the deck of the ship waving at him smiling. That smile made Steve feel better.

He stood with others at the dock as they saw the ships off on their journeys. Steve stayed until the ships were all out near the horizon. The sun having risen higher in the distance obscured the ships from view. Steve asked the ocean to take care of his love before he decided to head back home. He decided he would sleep for a while to enjoy Sam’s scent in their sheets before it faded away like it usually did after a few weeks. He figured he could always go grocery shopping tomorrow.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve read any of my other writing you may have noticed I have a predisposition for messing with people’s emotions and I regularly hurt my own feelings with some of the ideas I end up writing and this was no exception. But I was happy to write this for one of my OTPs.
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed the fic. If you did let me know down below.
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://ineffableblack.tumblr.com/)


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